About a week ago I finished the hair, my 1000 and something micro locs. I am so proud of myself and if you don't know anything about me my hair has its own lore. Let me tell you about it...
When I was 5 years old, I was a junior bridesmaid for a cousin with kids my age, we had to get braids and I guess my hair was a nightmare to deal with because I was a hellion before I started primary, I thought the sun rose and set on my little behind because nobody had told me otherwise. I digress, I had to get my hair chemically treated before getting the braids because little Miss Drama hated combing it and my Mum had 3 other daughters and a newborn to think of, so no one was dealing with my nonsense. I got the chemical, then the braids and had a fun wedding with the reception at our La Rochelle in Penhalonga. Everything was going well till I did the silly hair go back thing the next week at Creche and my hair stated falling out with the braids. I cried, it was a funeral very time I looked at my sisters' hair, I wailed so much we all got haircuts. My Mum was done, done with my drama, so as a result I wasn't allowed to have hair all through primary. By grade 5 I wanted to keep my hair, and she would not let me, so I learnt how to do my own hair the traditional way, we call it mabhanzi, since they resemble sugar buns, but to spare you the Google search it's what is called African threading by the English people.
This was probably my first act of rebellion after my hellion phase and I would do this 3 to 4 times a year for 3 years, but I could not plait myself weekly so I would give up after 2 or three weeks, hence the 7 years of short hair. Then came Form 1 applications, I could only apply to 4 schools, so I picked Mum's alma mater and my sisters' school as well as the top girls school in the country as well as the one that was the top girls school in my province. Why does this matter, the one in my province had a bald hair policy and I found out late, so I hid the interview invitation I got back after I applied. I wasn't going to be bold for 4 to 6 years, nope, no, nikisi, bodo-tsvo, it was not going to happen. I wanted the hair. So I went to the third option for six years and I kept my hair, and we fought about it so much with my Mum that my Dad ended up passing me a portion of his alcohol budget every month when I was home just to keep the peace. I also learnt how to do micro braids in my hair over the holidays since I was a boarder. It would take me 10 days but hey, I always looked good.
So to me, doing my own hair has always been my barometer of my capacity to take on conflict or life. I have been wanting skinny locs for 10 years, but I couldn't because I had an untreated autoimmune condition which made keeping my hair unbearable, but now, we figured out the treatment and I can keep my hair again yay! Aside from that, I have issues with commitment if something does not give me money or resources, I can't imagine being tied down to one option, honestly, emulating men's standards is so liberating. Then 5 years ago, I discovered micro locs and I could not decide if I wanted skinny locks (think Jah Prayzah) or micro locs. But the problem, in my head, was maintenance after installation. I tried giving 4 different locticians instructions, and they did what they wanted instead. It drove me up the wall and I undid that nonsense. This meant I had to do it myself.
I have been through a lot over the last decade, so I did not think I could, but I am finally committing to a place, a career, a country, and I am committed to loving myself right so naturally I had to commit to the hair, it took me 2 months and 2 days. My hair needed to look good, and it does, and the next step is my body, I am happy with my size, I just need to work on some body recomposition as much as possible because I have health issues which we now know will not kill me before I can design myself a whole new wardrobe again. I do not fit in anything anymore, I even miss skinny me, her wardrobe is fire, but I am grateful because I am 12kgs over what was my target weight for 2 decades because I was being modest and could not gain 5kgs to save my life but look at me now, That's that thicque, that's that real $h*+, thats that jelly baby....
I am a little too happy today, but all this to say, I think I am ready to go and actually work the plan because I managed to finish the hair. I have been preparing against my will, but everything is tying in together. I love planning because then I can just robotically go through the motions even when I do not feel like doing anything. Oh! I found some new paint and tried out a new primer because the perfectionist in me does not want to use someone else's gesso, I am not a fan of random unnecessary chemicals. At the rate I am going at, it is only a matter of time before I start making my own paint.
I have been working, I just suck at updating when my attention is divided. My hair looks amazing, I feel invincible because of it, that is it. That is the update.
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